New Year !New You ? Do You Understand The Change & Worth ?

We can say that majority of people choose to make change until the new year. Some start the Monday after that bad week.  However, many people are making changes without really getting to the root of the issue. 

Should you change all habits? No. Should you change your attitude? No. Should you change your goals? No. 

I know, you're probably thinking ? WTF are you talking about ? Im LOST !

If your working on self improvement such as weight loss,  sobriety,  lack of empathy, fear, cheating, lying ; understand first why you have these habits.

Heres the hard part… Accepting the issue & going back to how these habits/ issues came about can have you feeling so many emotions. Both good and bad emotions. & then thats when many people stop the process of changing,But why allow fear of change control the present and future? Why allow this negative emotion empower the rest of you ? 

There are some habits or issues that truly  we dont need to change completely but more of exercising it correctly . 

Let me give you guys a personal example.  Some of you may know me on a personal or professional level. I think majority of the people have seen and understood that I truly dont have a mute button. 

I was known to say whats on my mind at any given time or place. I can give two fucks who you are. Now ? I learn along the way after many meetings with teachers & bosses that my attitude wasn't welcome at any time or any day I fuckin wanted to give it  lol. 

I eventually understood that I needed to change my defensive ways. I listened to those around me  who commented about how it made me look, how other felt about my comments & how my message was taken . 

It took 1 teacher & 4 years of replaying  his one lecture to change me.  
I decided to look from the outside to understand the inside of “Denise .” 
That then led to the deeper emotional  side to the “Why.” 
The “WHY” then led to the “How.”
& the “How” brought me to who i am “NOW” 

Whats my mindset now ? I listen to understand, I ask questions when I don't understand in the most respectful way possible.  I respond in a way I understood my speaker wants to be spoken to without loosing my character. 

I learned have a birds-eye view. This allows me to help others try on the shoe even if they don't like the fit. This allows them to understand the emotions of others. 

Seek change for your spiritual and mental growth. Dont hold on to past screw ups to justify your reasons why you're a shit head or dependency on substance.  CHANGE because you want to, you've explored the reason for the change . Think of the positive change your life will have. 

& as always dont forget to pray for that strength .

Let Him Take Control

Life does not get easier as we get older. However, we can control how we face these unforeseen obstacles.  We all have at least 1 person in which we can lean on for moral support.  Whether its a family member, friend, coworker, acquaintance or the son of God. 

I have been very blessed when it comes to people allowing themselves to open up to me when in times of hardship and or confusion.  This has not only helped me as a person to see and feel differently but it has led me to the path of placing my faith in Jesus Christ. 

I am not the type of person that goes around and throws religion in everyone's face , talks the word of the lord on a daily basis.  I do not read the bible nor do I go to mass. I dont believe in categorizing my beliefs into a particular "religious group." Many people will ask how and why do you believe in him ? & I say why not ? 

Its just like many things on earth , theres some things we cant seem to explain or see but we can just feel it . The faith that I have in him, I can only feel it and as my present becomes my past, I can show his presence by the blessings I have been given. 

My faith did not happen from one day to another. It came within the years of a lot of happiness, disappointment, struggles and blessings.  I realized that only in tough times, did I pray for assistance. and guidance .Once I got what I wanted I would go back to the same path. Over and over again this became repetitive. It finally hit me one day, what if I prayed every day morning and night , no matter how my day went, I needed to pray.

I did just that. I prayed in silence at school, at work , while driving , before and after waking up . I prayed for all the good and all the bad that occurred to me that day .  I prayed and thanked him for what was given to me whether I understood why he chose me for these painful, heartwarming life experiences. 

My life has changed and I have become happier. This does not mean my life has become easier but, it has become easier to manage. I know in my own life when I come to Jesus, I usually have a lot of my own expectations. But He has His own plan and it’s often different from mine and always better. I might expect Him to give me answers on a question I have, and instead He just gives me more of Himself. I might expect Him to guide me to a specific route He wants me to take in my life, but instead He reminds me to just seek Him first and everything else will follow. I might expect Him to take certain sorrows or troubles out of my life, but He instead just tells me to trust Him and wait patiently. I might expect Him to teach me one thing, but He teaches me another instead. Whatever it is, Jesus likes to surprise us and remind us that He’s got it under control. So when we come to Him, we should learn to expect the unexpected!


If we can learn the words to Cardi B song, we have enough time to devote ourselves to at least one prayer a day . Pray when showing signs of weakness and ask that we are given strength . To ask for forgiveness in times of weakness in which we have committed sin. To pray for those who are lost & in need of guidance. A prayer of gratitude for giving you today and yesterday , no matter what occurred. 

Are we there yet ?

Are you were you want to be with your life at the moment ? Are you happy? Complacent ?Tired? Stressed?

Recently I have been approached by friends and acquaintances about direction in life. Little did they know I myself was questioning everything within myself and my current situation. I gave the perception that I knew what I was doing. What can I say , confidence is deceiving.


The only advise I could give is the advice I knew I needed to hear everyday to keep me going . Recently , My father passed away. I don't talk about it and many find it strange. This was a huge wakeup call for me and Ill explain why .

It made me realize the average statement "life is short" is true, its fucking short. My dad passed away from something he never had trouble with. He died from several heart attacks that put him into a comma .  The way I see it is We put so much emphasize on many things that feel worth it and forget to pay attention to other things feel as if its not. For example, "Friends" & "Significant others" . I think this is very much time consuming .

Let me elaborate about "Friends" more like "Fake Friends" the ones who only need you when they need you. When they only show concern because they feel as if they need to because deep down they are soon to be requesting something in return. In this world you don't need many friends. Let go of those toxic friendships that only drain you. Cherish the good times but just like relationships some friendships are not worth keeping. However, at times it is our own fault for the way they treat us. WE ALLOW IT. We allow them to mistreat, direspect and be taken advantage. At my age now I have let go of 3 friendships. All three were friends who I trusted and would bend over backwards, It wasn't easy, but it was fair to me.  As I look back now I am able to give more of me to those friends who truly deserve it. Its nice to know that the love and friendship is real and not exhausting .




Relationships are a hit and miss. BUT there are some where you're either stupid or insane.to even consider 1. thats its going to work out 2. he/she will change. Ive been pretty stupid in selecting the MR. or I kind of like to put it as they played me pretty fckn good lol.Again it takes two and the blame can't be pinned on only one person.

Theres  different types of females.
1. The Binger- she gets with whatever guy gives her the slightest affection/attention. No morals, no preferences.

2. The hopeless romantic- the one who is willing to wait for him to change. Run now, they won't change.

3. Bossy- Demanding, men might like the confidence but no man wants to feel like someones 5 year old child.

4. The player- Believes that this will land the man.However, not always. Men are lazy. They will only play for so long and they will show you the door before you can even sink his vessel.

Last but not least…

5. The breakup chick- She has not a care in the world now, she is wild and free and she is acting wild and free.



To be continued…..